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άδειες,
ανύπαρκτες
παράξενες μέρες

με το παρελθόν να τριγυρνάει στο σαλόνι μου
και ένα μέλλον που αρνείται να 'ρθει
δίχως να βλέπω καθαρά
περπατάω
όλο στα ίδια σημεία

και είναι τώρα η επανάληψη
αυτοκαταστροφή
στην εξουσία του σίγουρου
και του προδιαγεγραμμενου

με ένα σορό απο ίσως
και υποθέσεις
νουθεσίες και εντολές υπακοής

μηχανικές ανάσες
και μηχανές αναζήτησης
στο φόβο του χρόνου
που όλο μας τρέχει στο κηνυγητό του

να ρθουμε πρώτοι
σε μια γενιά που δε νίκησε ποτέ

και είναι όλα μισά
και σκόρπια τώρα
σαν και αυτές τις λέξεις
που δε μπορώ να δαμάσω

επιστρέφω
και είναι τώρα η επιστροφή κατάρα
και άδικη μοίρα
σ' έναν άνθρωπο που ποτέ δε πίστεψε σ' αυτά
μα όλο με αντικρούει η ζωή
με πιο δυνατά επιχειρήματα.



αυξάνω και μειώνω τη δοσολογία μου
μέχρι να βρω αυτήν
που θα΄ ναι πιο κατασταλτική για μένα
για να πουν πως κέρδισαν
άλλον ένα

στις στατιστικές τις εντολές και τις πουστιές τους

ιατρικό μοντέλο
και βιολογική θεώρηση

είμαι κάτι παραπάνω απ'τους νευρώνες
και τις αλυσιδωτές οργανικές αντιδράσεις μου

μόνο που θα κόστιζα λιγότερο
αν ήμουνα μόνο αυτό

και θα' ταν πιο εύκολο
πιστέψτε με
και για μένα

μα είναι κάτι πιο βαθύ
μέχρι εκεί
που δε μπαίνει το νυστέρι

αν και θα ταν πιο απλό
πιστέψτε με




κάνε κάτι
φοβάμαι πως σε λίγο θα αρχίσω να προσεύχομαι
και δεν είμαι΄ γω για τέτοια






17 comments:

[UKUMUTU] said...

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Pavlos ... said...

Λατρεύω τον τρόπο που γράφεις

billzouk said...

δεν εχω τι να γραψω...
ειναι υπεροχο.
σε παρακαλω ομως μην πεσεις στην αναγκη του παπαθεμελη.

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δολοφονος της μοναξιας
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